Zoetry Montego Bay – All Inclusive

This hotel is beautifully appointed, and the grounds were immaculately kept by the grounds crew. Staff are amazing: Sandgrian at the Coco Cafe, English in the Polo Club, Kavi and the Recreation coordinator who ran activities, and Michael Lee who took care of our every need, to name just a few. Our room was kept spotless and well-stocked. The food was fantastic, and the drinks were even better! The resort lives up to its boutique image, and their clear focus on calm and quiet. Definitely not a party resort, but perfect for rest and relaxation.

We did not know what to expect, our family is so glad we came to Zoetry in Jamaica. There are some employees who worked daily at making us happy. We met Patrick butler, Michael who greeted us, Eric, Stacy, Dari, Oneil, Barbara, George, Scot, Analise so many others to remember. Suite beautiful and as expected equipped with fully stocked bar. Hotel looked great and had a great time with Cava our yoga instructor. We came to enjoy and rest we got all of that and more. Beach is relaxing picturesque but small, Was perfect for us. Coconuts daily, Jerky chicken spicy...thanks to Tico. Loved Soiree by pool. Food is good, had dietary restrictions which was catered thanks to the Chef. Dari kept us entertained by Polo was immense fun, We will return with our family again,

This is one of those experiences I will always remember for all of the wrong reasons. First, the service is incredibly slow. We waited 1.5 hours for breakfast (3 scrambled eggs), we ordered room service 3 times over the course of our stay - 2 of the orders never arrived without any explanation, and the third (a chicken sandwich) took 3 hours (we ordered at 4pm and it arrived at 7:15pm as we left for dinner). Second, the staff was incredible lazy and mostly absent. For example, we went to Joe’s at 11am when they opened and waited an hour because nobody was there. We asked the butler if they could place an order for us because we wanted to hang out by the pool. The response back was “you can order, the chef is back there now”. Also, no one ever asked if we wanted anything when we were by the pool or beach during the 4 day stay. The slow service was already described, but worth repeating. Maybe it’s their way of saving costs on the “all inclusive” aspect of the resort, or maybe the wait staff is being held hostage as they all seemed like they were there against their will; and at a certain point, it also felt like I was. Third, there’s really not much to do on the resort. There was a badminton net set up, but they lost the racquets so we couldn’t use them, they have no real water toys (kayaks, which were limited, and two floaties in the water). No one went in the water because there are lots of critters (didn’t bother us, but the drug dealing locals kayaking up to us in the water did). After 2 days, our friends left the resort because they couldn’t get any food and had exhausted everything to do. For a wellness resort, you would think they’d have more activities (like yoga, larger weight room, open spa, any activities). Fourth, while some of the facilities are run down, the restaurants are pretty and the beach itself is serene. We enjoyed star gazing and sitting on the deck. One thing I was really excited about which was the biggest let down was the polo lounge. It looked like a nice place to grab a cocktail and enjoy a small bite (they say they serve tapas). Unfortunately when we went they did not have food, the bartender left as soon as we walked in, and they had a DJ playing techno music with a strobe light flashing. It was so random and definitely ruined what could’ve been a cool ambiance lol I have more to say, but I’ll sum it up with I would’ve had more fun drowning myself in a shallow puddle than staying at Zoetry Montego Bay.